My experience of LA is a little odd since I've only ever been here on Thanksgiving weekend. At which time the city operates at just about the right speed for this country boy, freshly fallen from the hay wagon. LOL.

Ted has been driving us around in his huge Lincoln, which was making a terrible sound. I was almost disappointed when we examined the belts and determined that the sound could be stopped immediately by turning off the air conditioner. It was just SO ghetto.

At the Eagle, which was pleasantly busy but not too much so, being fresh meat apparently turned me into a freak magnet. One guy, kinda drunk, sent a barstool flying off a small dropoff, which prompted Ted to suggest that the barstool be "cut off". He chatted with us for a few moments, discussing the hazard of the ledge, and I suggested it be painted, perhaps with yellow safety stripes. Or, I added, "How about blue, like a zone for the handicapped?" He didn't think this was funny at ALL, and glared at me for a good three beats before stomping drunkenly off. Heh.

Another guy was weirdly touchy, too. He was kind of a raconteur, and stood close to us as he spoke at great length without interruption. At least he wasn't boring, he had lots of good stories, but they did go on for a while. Then he said "Oh I should go in and leave you guys alone". When I cheerfully replied "OK!" he got all pissy about that, saying we were supposed to encourage him to stay. Yeah, right! He informed us that pretty soon, if we wanted to listen to him, we'd have to pay $65 for a ticket. I certainly hope he finds success as an entertainer. Soon.

For dinner, we went to the LA equivalent of Don Ramon - a fine-dining mexican spot not too far from the Eagle with lots of gay men. Its chief attraction was a parking lot - apparently this isn't the greatest neighborhood for walking around at night. I have to say, their chile colorado was nowhere near the version at DR. But it wasn't too expensive. What was most interesting was listening to a real-life Valley Girl in the neighboring booth - I didn't know anyone actually spoke like that, at least outside of comedy films. She went on for, like, THIRTY MINUTES without taking, like, a SINGLE BREATH. Thank God the restaurant was really loud, overwhelming even her squeaky voice. Because if it weren't, the experience would have been completely intolerable. I felt so sorry for her boyfriend.

Not very remarkable experiences but they struck me as very different from anything that might happen in SF. LA kind of scares me, but at the same time I do get the "groove" of the place and it's certainly got its own appeal.

No luck on trolling Silverdaddies but who knows, there are still a few hours to go... I am very unsure about how to negotiate hook-ups on short notice without jerking people around, given that one has to pursue multiple leads to get anywhere, and people aren't necessarily sitting on top of their email. Not that this particular trip was so complicated in that regard, as there was only one guy in the area whose profile really got my juices flowing. Woof! Though he sincerely wished we could get together, it wasn't possible. Guess I really ought to plan ahead a little.

I'm staying for the next two nights with Ted at the Burbank Ramada - the place is actually quite nice for $49 a night, which makes the horrible Internet reviews rather puzzling. Sure beats the "Eco Lodge" in Sacramento. (Yes, that was a low-budget name change, and was otherwise about as bad as you might imagine.)

Where would you LA-savvy types go tonight if you were looking to hang with cheap-and-sleazy blue collar men? I am not very au courant with the bar scene here. I think I might also troll Silverdaddies with the caveat that "grandpa" gets to watch. I bet I'd get some bites with that.

Tomorrow night is the Satyrs anniversary. Great night to debut my new Paul Johnson saddle-patched Carhartts, which are about as hot as pants can get without actually catching on fire.

Lots of work this past couple of weeks, which ended with the Golden Gate Guards party last night at the Eagle. Jack had called me earlier, asking me to increase the count from 100 to 150 people, because Marcus' memorial was supposedly going to have everyone out and about that night. In practice, it was pretty quiet, and only about half the food got eaten. I'm hoping that the leftovers get suitably distributed. If you go to the Eagle this afternoon you might want to raid the walk-in for some pretty decent salads: prawn, mango, jicama and roasted pasilla pepper with curry yoghurt dressing, and orzo pasta with pine nuts, raisins, red onions, and marjoram. As well as sushi and ham flatbread rollup things. No guarantee they'll still be there though. ;-)

The work-malaise thing has suffered from a dozen likely causes, none of them seeming much more likely than any other. But I had an assistant in yesterday, the first time I've had an outsider in the kitchen working on an actual event. The interaction lifted my spirits and made me think that maybe the real problem is simple loneliness. I constantly have to fight the feeling that the world outside the kitchen is passing me by; having a bit of the outside world come in makes it seem more real, more relevant. Actually saying out loud what the operating principles of the kitchen are leads me to feel like I've got an actual cuisine happening, in every sense of the word.

Got a friend up for a few days and we're luxuriating in the bliss of doing nothing. The weather is improving and looking to be quite nice for a few days. Tomorrow we are going to go to the coast and collect some chanterelles, have lunch with a hippie, that sort of thing.

If you type "sex with" into Google, it's type-ahead feature populates its famously diagnostic list of suggestions with nothing but variations of "sex without". The first suggestion is "sex without a condom", followed by "sex without intercourse". I guess the second suggestion is something of an answer to the first. Sex without love ranks above sex without pregnancy. "Sex without love poem", well, anyone in their right mind would be thankful for that.

If you type "sex with a", it offers no suggestions whatsoever.

Assorted stuff around the property.







This last one is a rock and wild grape vine thought by our neighbors to look something like a crouching dragon:

Recap of the previous week:

The scramble to get everything done week before last seemed not so bad at the time, but it demanded a lot of recovery. In some ways it was harder afterwards. The stress actually hurt me in multiple identifiable ways that I didn't fully recognize until well after it was over. Facing the kitchen presents formidable emotional obstacles that are getting in the way of the product. Certain, seemingly arbitrary activities feel "bad" for no discernible reason and having to force my way through them has proven traumatic. I wonder constantly about how to fix this problem but have no answers right now.

Pizza production: It is strangely disheartening to be successful at this. I struggle to get two pizza batches in per month, and they sell out within days. The shop owner is constantly pestering me for more, but the work does not pay enough to be really motivating. Every indication points towards raising the price, but I am having a hard time making myself do this. I attempted to make a batch of ravioli at the same time as the pizza, but whereas two production batches in one day is not too much "work" per se, it upsets the finesse required to make the ravioli, and the result was a batch that was entirely unsellable. Bill helped with the baking, and dropped one pizza on the ground - I realized that this one "oops" erased the profit from a full hour of work.

Billy gathering: A welcome and necessary respite, which I took as an opportunity for introspection and deep relaxation. Not that it started so easily. It took FOREVER to get out on Friday morning. Pizza packaging, packing for the trip, getting things together for various errands - I thought it would never get done, but I did get there in time for lunch. The Billies (a gay men's new-agey sex-friendly club vaguely like the Faeries) had a retreat at Saratoga Springs for halloween, and I figured I would give it a serious try. That is, participate without cynicism in all the hippy-dippy touchy-feely activities and see how it went. The answer was "very well".

Friday night was "The Journey", a simple, heartfelt multi-media event with cardboard cutouts, a spooky and dramatic narrative, various musical instruments, spoken word, and vocal parts scattered throughout the audience. All sat on mats in a circle on the floor, about 80 of us in all. I have come to truly appreciate things that are created with more sincerity than technical skill; for so much of my life, it's sincerity that has been the elusive part. I would say that through the magic of tribal bonding, this was among the most engaging and emotionally affecting performances I've ever seen.

Boy, did I sleep a lot, about ten hours that night. Sleeping in a bunkroom with lots of other men is an incredibly soothing thing for me. It feels very secure.

Saturday, I did the heart circle thing for the first time in, like, fifteen years and found it not at all tedious. Very interesting, actually, once I stopped paying attention to my own thoughts and made a point of listening attentively.

The costume dance that night was an incredible eye-popping wonder. Never seen costumes like that before, and nearly everybody was wearing something interesting, many of them having raided the stash of high-camp glitteralia the Billies keep for such occasions. I took the opportunity to wear my fully pin-encrusted RMC overlay, not a "costume" per se, but something I have decided it's OK to be proud of. ;-) People found it fascinating.

Met a couple of guys that seemed real familiar, and in both cases it turns out they had been visitors here, during QBT. Guess I should have made more of an effort to get to know them then! One in particular had been really silent at the time, but on chatting with him he proved quite interesting and articulate. I'd been so wrapped up in getting things done during his earlier visit that I'm not sure I even greeted him properly. Sigh.

Sunday morning I left the gathering to head to SF, where I spent time at the Eagle and the Hole with Rich (who I have been seeing lately), ran into a few friends, and later treated him to dinner at Chow, which was delicious but pricey. It seems necessary to eat out at least once a month, somewhere really good, to calibrate my own culinary sense. I feel like my work drifts if I don't have some high standard to compare it to.

Monday morning was for picking up supplies, including lots more duck for confit, and a big bag of dried shiitake. I found, at last, a reasonably good Chinese market in SF, in an area where it's easy to park. My aversion to parking is out of proportion to the actual difficulty - given what it costs to go into SF at all, I might as well get more out of the visit by just paying for a freaking parking-garage spot.

This week I've got 200 little appetizer plates for a mushroom festival event, and appetizers fora private party of 30 the next day. This is the LAST time I want to serve back-to-back events like this. There has to always be a non-event day in between, or it's just too stressful.

A chef has received a shipment of button mushrooms that is unusually variable in size. Assume the mean size of each mushroom is 30g, with a standard deviation of 10g. In order to use these mushrooms, the chef wishes to either leave them whole, cut them in halves, or cut them in quarters, depending on their size. Devise a cutting strategy that minimizes the standard deviation of the size of the resulting pieces.

It's sort of the eye of the hurricane.

Dinner for ten on Tuesday - a donation on my part, the guests paid $2K for this dinner at a charity auction. Flawless. Good to find out who has money and taste in this town.

Today, lunch for 14 at a winery. I thought it was a bit of a fiasco, but the guests loved it. My new chafing dishes are a pain in the ass, I need to figure out how to set them up with much less fiddling.

Saturday and Sunday, paired events at the same winery, appetizers for 50, identical menu for both of them. So I have tomorrow-and-a-little-bit to get my act together for that. Hardly any turn-around time between them, the first is 5-8 and the second is 1-4.

Now, a few hours of rest before I get things going again... yeah, it makes money but boy is it a slog sometimes!

There's definitely going to be a lot of business coming. My main worry now is that I have to make this sustainable and not kill myself for pennies. I think I'm getting close to a $20/hr margin at this point but I really need to get it to $30 to make it work in a conventional ROI sense. 20% better efficiency and a 10% price hike might get it there.

Via churchbear. Falling anvils are involved, but he's more bear than coyote:



Next time I hear him say "fire in the hole", I want it to mean "more lube please!"

Some recent photography; landscapes and animals

( about a dozen pictures, a few hasty notes )

Recently, somebody posted an interesting video of a crash test between a modern car and a larger, older one, in which the older car fares rather badly. I can't for the life of me find it again. If it was you, would you mind reposting it in a comment? THANKS!

Update: Thanks Furr and Polecat for the prompt answer! I'm trying to explain to Bill that cars aren't safer just because they're big...

Been getting very much into organization and cleaning these past few days. Having been here about 18 months, I finally feel calm and secure enough to make actual decisions. Which is what has been holding things up all along.

( get it done talk )

OK, Windows 7 is out and I would like to ditch Vista entirely - particularly the version that came with my TouchSmart - but I no longer have the connections that relieved me from, you know, actually paying for it. I also don't want an "upgrade" that requires me to find disks that are never available when you need them. I'm after the full, standalone version, not tied to specific hardware and not flaky pirated crap.

Suggestions? Or has Microsoft finally won this game?

Update: Admittedly, the $150 price for the Win 7 "family pack" is not so bad, but this is apparently an "upgrade" rather than a standalone license (though nothing on Amazon's page tells you that), and I'm confused on a few things... like, do you need to find the original install disks for whatever you're upgrading from? What if your hard disk dies and you have no choice but to do a clean install? I wouldn't mind just paying the upgrade price for my 3 computers, but I would hate to get stuck with less than 3 installations in practice, particularly since I don't have the original install disks for the notebook and whether I can find them for my desktop is kind of questionable. Thoughts?

Of course, with the first big rainstorm, not only did I have a catering event, there was a power failure. Normally we have gravity-feed water available, but it's too muddy to use right now. So we had water for about half the day, and once the pressure tank was exhausted it was down to a trickle.

This is where all this wilderness work helps - no water or electricity? No problem. Hardly batted an eyelash. We had lots of propane and ice. But I'm sure glad I made the tortellini last night...

Actually, it was worse than a power failure - we had a brownout. The voltage went down to 80V for several hours. Interesting to see what worked and what didn't. Halogens were very dim, incandescent lights almost useless. Fluorescents were fine. The fridge made a kind of subdued hum that didn't sound like it was doing anything useful. We figured it was best to disconnect anything digital or motorized. The laser printer seems out of sorts now, it wasn't on battery backup, and it might be fried. Actually I kinda hope so.

Dinner was OK, not my best. I went out on a limb and made pommes Anna for the first time at the client's house. The Cooks Illustrated method is pretty foolproof and it came out looking rather good. Perhaps a little oily though.

So the event was basically fine but I feel a bit frazzled for a lot of reasons. As much as I like the first rain and what it brings, it always ends up creating a bit of a panic unto itself.

Had a short trip into SF. The number of commitments I could have in the city is so large I feel very self conscious about going in at all. Hard to keep up with people that are eminently worthy of keeping up with.

On impulse, I had bought a pair of sexy saddle-patched 501s from Paul Johnson (Offramp Leathers) at the Folsom St. Fair. The tag said 32-30 and they seemed right at the time, but on getting home they were more like 32-27 and looked ridiculous when I sat down. I mean, maybe I could have worn them to the beach or something. He said he'd exchange them, so I bought a pair of new Carhartts and he's doing them up in brown leather. They're going to be super-extra-sexy. It's going to be interesting wearing them riding with the local HOG group. I figure if some redneck doesn't like them I can just tell him he can stop staring at my ass any time he wants. But more likely, I think there's a real chance these pants will get me laid. They say "fuck me" from about a quarter of a mile away. That's what I love about motorcycles: they offer plausible deniability for so many things.

Definitely: no more black leather, it's all brown from here. So I'm glad I got to change the pants as well as the size.

Spent some time at the Eagle and chatted up a really hot guy I've had my eye on for years. Just never got the chance to talk much before.

Dim Sum with a friend at Yet Wah on Diamond Heights was an alarming experience. The dim sum itself was OK - the restaurant was quiet and they made it to order, so at least it was served hot - but man, was the place ever filthy. I cannot believe anyone would manage a restaurant like that. I mean, not only did the white tablecloths have prominent stains and crumbs, so did the white fucking paper placemats they laid on top of them. Hello, you can afford to dispose of these things, they are disposable. And remember kids, it's much easier to clean a bathroom than it is to clean a kitchen! Judge accordingly.

First rain of the season here, so there's been a bit of scrambling around. We got the woodshed put together and filled with dry wood on a timely basis, so no worries there. Big rains tomorrow, so I have disconnected the collection barrel at the spring, since there's going to be a lot of mud coming through. Glad the water crunch will soon be over. I love the instant-green effect of the moss - the leaves may be brown, but everything else is lush and vibrant. Also got a good look at the pileated woodpecker that lives here, he's big and colorful, but kind of shy, so I had only seen him at a distance. Very interesting bird.

One dinner party tomorrow night then the rest of the week is off. Next week is hell week, with events on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. It's the ONE weekend I would REALLY like to have off, but I couldn't say no to the weekend bookings. Such is life, I've actually been pleased at how many events end up happening mid-week.

It appears that the hard disk shipped with my HP TouchStupid (which has been nothing but trouble) has some serious problems of its own. Bad firmware, apparently, and the update they provided is in itself bricking disks pretty reliably. According to that site, "only drives which have not already locked up can be updated with the new firmware." Oh well. What a freaking waste. Perfectly good drive gone to hell. If anyone thinks they can restore it to function, it's yours.

Went out and paid $99 for an overpriced 500 GB Western Digital drive from the local Staples - the curse of living in a small town. Though it still stuns me that they are affordable at all. Hope it works.

Update: Yeah, it works. Never been so happy to see a computer actually boot again, I had figured it was going to be a total loss.

OMG. Wow:

http://www.gapminder.org/

The chart tool is very much the kind of software I used to produce for genomics research. Stuff that lets non-programmers and non-statisticians dive into datasets and see stuff for themselves. Seeing this brought to the world (literally) is wonderful.

I put it to immediate use in assessing the political slogan "feed at 'em now, shoot at 'em later", something which has long irritated me. Feeding people is not like feeding wildlife; it is an empirical fact that high fertility is associated with poverty and food insecurity. And, not surprisingly, the data paint a more complicated picture - it is true, for instance, that foreign aid received as a percent of a country's GDP is correlated with fertility, too. Foreign aid per person, however, is not. The argument that foreign aid does not increase the number of births is one I happen to believe is true, but it is not a simple matter to explain why. One can cherrypick the data to suggest individually compelling but contradictory conclusions. This, perhaps, is the most useful lesson to be drawn.

Wow, that was a long time on the road. Got home last night and am swamped with stuff to do.

It's very hard to come down after something like this. Downright traumatic. I had all sorts of things I wanted to write about on LJ but my best efforts are coming out an incoherent mess. The experience was so wonderful and amazing, while the words are so clumsy and dull.

Got five event bookings while I was away that all have to be whipped into shape. Eeek!

Very interesting article in the Chronicle about people who switch to a culinary career late in life.

The comments are particularly interesting. I have to endorse just about everything the most severe naysayers say about this; the celebrity chef phenomenon has greatly distorted the perception of the trade. Long hours and low pay indeed. I had to laugh over comments about 14 hour days at a third the pay - sometimes I work 16 hours at one tenth the pay. LOL. There are paths to this that work - chefxh is a good example - but you have to be very committed.

Nothing in the article or the comments was anything I didn't know going into this. It's a real tough line of work no matter how you do it.

Now into my second full day at my dad's place on the lake. This is not where I'm staying...



( more pix )